Anybody who’s ever taken some sort of a creative writing course will probably tell you that one of the first things you learn about is this idea of “show, don’t tell.” Of course, these words don’t really describe exactly what it means to show and not tell, especially because we are talking about written words. I will say though that the idea of showing and not telling is a very important one, and you really should care to take it into consideration. However, there are a few things that you need to be careful of when you’re writing as you employ this style.
What is Show, Don’t Tell?
“Show, don’t tell” basically means that when you’re writing, you want the reader to be able to visualize and understand what you’re talking about without you directly telling them everything. The best way to explain this is through an example.
Let’s just say that I’m writing a scene in some book, and in this scene, the main character is really scared of something. Now, you tell me which of these sounds better:
I was scared of what laid ahead. The monsters were close, I was sure.
Or…
My heart would not calm its incessant beating, that horrendous thump thump thump against my bones. My shoulders were tense, hunched close to my ears. My stomach churned. My mouth felt dry, as though I had filled it with sand moments ago. The sounds around me inching towards me as though they were a tsunami about to wreak havoc upon the shores of some coastal city.
Yeah, I think you don’t need me to tell you which of these is clearly the better option. I didn’t tell you in the second option that the character was obviously scared. Rather, I portrayed fear through common markers of fear and panic. A dry mouth, stomach ache, heart palpitations, etc… are things that we feel when we fear intense fear. Plus, instead of telling you that the monsters were close, I showed you that they were close. I showed you that via the sounds that were “inching towards” the main character.
Show, don’t tell relies heavily on the concept of visualization. It’s the mark of a writer who’s been writing for a while, because a decent writer can portray to you human emotions and feelings without being super direct and in-your-face about the entire thing.
Why is Show, Don’t Tell Important?
Show, don’t tell is very significant to any story for a multitude of reasons, so let’s go through some of them:
1. It Immerses your Readers
One of the biggest pieces of show don’t tell is that your readers will be significantly more immersed in your story. By giving more visual descriptions of what characters are observing or diving into their emotions without simply using words like “angry,” “sad,” “happy,” etc…, you give your readers a chance to genuinely feel with the characters. They no longer become simply outside observers when they read your story. They will actually feel what your characters feel, which is what you want.
If you close your eyes and imagine your book or story as a movie, write down what it is that you’re imagining in as much detail as possible. You can practice this by coming up with scenes outside of your story and then applying what skills you picked up from this exercise to your book.
2. It Adds Sophistication to your Writing
Show, don’t tell is a telling sign that your writing is elevated and sophisticated. Writing that is descriptive is always noticeable because it’s not simple–it’s beautiful and imaginative. It can be the difference between a good piece and a great piece. It can also take your writing up a level and appeal to potentially older audiences.
If you notice, a lot of younger children’s novels use simple, less descriptive language. A lot of books like Tolkien’s works go for a lot of description. The difference between the two age groups can really influence your take on show, don’t tell. Remember to write for your audience!
3. It Shows that You Care!
Writing with the idea of show, don’t tell in mind lets readers know that you actually care about your story. It takes a lot of time and patience to craft a well-written scene. The descriptive nature of a scene can really give readers the impression that you spent time and care and are patient in your craft.
Readers can tell the difference between something written haphazardly and something written with genuine passion. If your writing is too basic, it may not give readers the sense that you actually care about your own story. If they perceive that you don’t care, why should they care too?
BIG MISTAKE TO AVOID!!!
Please be aware of this one thing: TOO much description is never a good thing. If you’re going on for three pages about how the flowers in the meadow look, then you have just overdone it BIG TIME!
The idea of show, don’t tell is sometimes skewed by some into this idea that you can never tell anything whatsoever in your stories. No, my fellow writers, you can do both. Show, don’t tell is just a generalized way of saying “mostly show, some tell,” but if you’re just showing the entire time, you are going to lose your readers.
If you’re writing about a small detail that really doesn’t matter to the story or isn’t emotionally impactful, then don’t show that! For example, why would you add more to this sentence:
“I was either in the office or using my phone, but that was fine. A desktop was more preferable for the kind of things I did.” (Malware, page 6).
It’s pretty self-explanatory. Imagine trying to add way more to this very simply used sentence? We don’t really care much about Blide’s snippet of monologue in these two sentences. All we need to know is that he uses his phone or he goes to the office and that he requires a desktop PC for at-home stuff. Not much else is required.
Meanwhile, a scene like this:
“I leaned my head back on my couch and my eyes went up to look at the ceiling. The window across from me was open, with a night breeze washing through my apartment. The moon was up high, casting a glow down on the streets. I stood up and made my way towards it, pausing halfway there. The Annihilator. His methods were bizarre. I was used to sadistic serial killers on the internet, but he was unique. Special, even. He took pride in his work. And his speech pattern was also calculated.” (Malware, page 24).
This scene showcases a mix of both show and tell. In this scene, Blide talks about how it’s breezy outside and he can feel the wind. You can picture him lounging on the couch with the window open and the cool wind on your skin. He then monologues a bit about this enigmatic figure named The Annihilator and he notes things he observed. These are things he can just tell us, because he’s noted them and he’s repeating his notes to us as the readers.
At the end of the day, the best way to practice showing and not telling is to just keep writing and getting feedback. The key to getting better at any skill is to keep doing that skill and keep practicing that skill until it becomes basically second-nature.
If you keep practicing rewriting simple scenes and adding more detail, this sort of thing will be instinctual in your work.
One last example of show, don’t tell is from a work-in-progress of mine:
“It wasn’t even that fancy of a town or anything. The buildings all had a sad brick exterior with frayed signs and remnants of a world probably pre-Depression. The flag of Nebraska flopped flimsily on some business flagposts…The homes were all just as sad as the businesses and it resembled more of a neighborhood in downtown Toledo–broken down, depressing, and dilapidated.”
Imagine if I had just written this instead:
The town was clearly sad and old.
Yeah, that wouldn’t have been good, would it? But again, this is a skill you pick up with practice and it’s not a hard skill to learn. It will really elevate your work if you hone in on it!
For now, if you want some more writing and world building tips, you can check out the rest of my blog posts. Feel free to also check out my books, which you can buy over on Amazon!